Fate looked down at the girl and smirked as she cried. "So you think your life is shit? Just wait I can make it so much worse..."

I came home from work today to find out that we have to be out of the place we are living by May 1st...my fiance still doesn't have a job and we have no money for a security deposit and first month's rent. I have no fucking idea what the hell to do! Even if he got a fucking job tomorrow we wouldn't have the money for at least 6 weeks. What the hell am I supposed to do now...I love him, I can't imagine living without him but this is the THIRD time since we've been together that he's put us in this kind of position. I have always had a job but I'm a hairdresser, you can't make enough to support two people in my profession.

I have been curled up in a ball crying for the last half hour. Not one damn thing has gone right in my life for four years! Is that some kind of sign? And nothing really good has happened since my mother passed away four years ago. I got to go the Supernatural convention in 2009...that's it and I am thankful for that weekend often.

So I most likely can't get married again this year...just perfect. Is it selfish and stupid to be upset about it considering the spot we are in, yes I know it is but I have been hoping for this, it was the one spot of joy I had been looking forward to. And I have to keep paying for my dress, or I lose the money that's already on it, I've paid my deposits for things, so I will lose that money too...

I will probably disappear from LJ for awhile, I most likely won't have internet after the first, just on my phone. I don't expect anyone (other than 2 I'm sure probably will) to comment on this and that's okay, I mean what can you say.


From: [identity profile] jennygeee.livejournal.com

I am so sorry you are going through this :((

I'm sorry I can't help you - I want to reach over the ocean and give you a big hug.

Please let me know how you get on.

Big hugs

From: [identity profile] smeared-kohl.livejournal.com

Thank you, I appreciate that you care more than you know.

From: [identity profile] kittykittykiss.livejournal.com

Oh god honey,

I wish I had the money to help right now, I've give it over in a heartbeat. I love you, and you are staying in my thoughts. I hope something works out. Just don't give up.

From: [identity profile] smeared-kohl.livejournal.com

I know you would, and I'm at such a low point I might take it without a fight. It's so hard not to give up.


smeared_kohl: (Default)

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