smeared_kohl: (alec)
( May. 30th, 2011 01:18 pm)
I'm still here...if anyone remembers this post from last month...we are still living in the same place, budgeted to the last penny and I am saving everything I can to pay for internet as my only expense. It sucks, it's hard and we are getting no help from anyone.

My dad can't help us because he is retired and doesn't have much money...and Dave's mom won't help us because he told her he quit instead of being let go. I understand why he did it, no one wants to say they were fired, but it's only made her mad at him thinking he's irresponsible and all that. *SIGH* If he had told her the truth she might be more sympathetic to our situation but instead she just blames him for it.

And on top of it all, I am still going forward with my wedding...it's included in my budget...once my dress is paid for I will have more money to work with. I know it sounds stupid to do this but...I already had deposits down...I would lose a chunk of money if I didn't.

This is my life atm, if Dave could only get a job...ANY JOB...we would be fine...maybe even happy again...I miss being happy =(.

Tags:
smeared_kohl: (hugs)
( Apr. 27th, 2011 10:37 pm)
Fate looked down at the girl and smirked as she cried. "So you think your life is shit? Just wait I can make it so much worse..."

Real life stuff, panicked and depressed babbling, feeling really sorry for myself, go ahead and skip it, I would if I could. )
Tags:
smeared_kohl: (cute anmie boys)
( Apr. 24th, 2011 10:32 pm)
I am finally back online!
Not that many of you would have noticed but I have been sick with Norwalk virus for almost a week now and haven't checked my friend's page. So I'm sorry if I've missed any big events or sad times in your lives. If anything interesting happened in real life or in fandom, let me know. =)
smeared_kohl: (hugs)
( Apr. 11th, 2011 08:14 am)
Well that's the way it goes I guess...My big bang is a big flop.
I've had too much happen in my personal life to be able to write it. My beloved cat of 19 years passed away, I've been very sick, my fiance has been very sick, he lost his job and on top of all of that my wedding is in October and I'm trying to plan it on just my salary.
Basically my life is crap right now and I can't focus worth a damn. I'm hoping I can finish it and post it sometime at the end of summer.
smeared_kohl: (hugs)
( Mar. 4th, 2011 07:34 pm)
Good-bye Foxycat you were the best friend I could have ever asked for.
You were an amazing girl that was loved by everyone and you will never be forgotten.





You were my girl and I will never have another like you, I love you.
smeared_kohl: (hugs)
»

MOM

( Feb. 15th, 2011 12:17 pm)
It was 4 years ago today that I had to say good bye to my mom.

Four years seems like nothing, and it hurts just as much now as it did then.

I bought my wedding dress yesterday and it still kills me that she will never see my wedding or her grandchildren that she always promised that she would wind up on sugar and send them home to me.
It's wrong that she did not get to enjoy the rest of her life, because god did she ever enjoy her life.

Everyone who knew her misses her deeply.

My mom was 57 years old, she deserved a longer life.



I love you mom.

 
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smeared_kohl: (totally means i love u)
( Jan. 1st, 2011 01:09 pm)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!



My resolution for this year is to stop being so damn LAZY all the time!
Of course this isn't going to start until tomorrow because...seriously it's New Year's day...I'm wiped out!

=P


*gif from [livejournal.com profile] vt_graphics  as usual. =)
smeared_kohl: (totally means i love u)
( Oct. 18th, 2010 01:30 pm)
My last post was kinda cranky and I felt really fluffy today [I'm wearing my super fluffy, cuddly star covered thick socks =)] So I felt like talking about my other kitty, Loki. If you have been here for awhile you know about my 18 year old diabetic cat, that I almost lost like 2 yrs ago or less now.


Foxy

But like I said, this post is about Loki...

Loki )
smeared_kohl: (whoa)
( Oct. 1st, 2010 02:18 pm)
OMG!

One year from today is supposed to be my wedding day!

I guess I have to start planning seriously now!

EEEK!!!

Of course the fact that I just lost my job won't be very helpful.
*sad*
smeared_kohl: (i like it)
( Mar. 16th, 2010 10:24 pm)
Okay, I kind of really love this wedding dress...opinions?

smeared_kohl: (totally means i love u)
( Feb. 28th, 2010 09:39 pm)



I BELIEVE

I Love You Canada!

"With Glowing Hearts..."

=)
smeared_kohl: (hugs)
»

Mom

( Feb. 15th, 2010 06:09 pm)
It's 3 years ago today that I had to say good bye to my mom.

Three years seems like nothing,  and it hurts just as much now as it did then. But I lost her long before that.

My mom had cancer, it started as kidney cancer and moved to her lymphnodes...because it was missed on her scans. The tumor released a chemical that messed up her brain, she was like an Alzheimer patient, if you didn't go to see her everyday she didn't know who you were and as it progressed she couldn't talk or really know what was going on. And god she was in so much pain.

There was so much I wanted to say, talk to her about but I never got the chance, because she had no idea what I was saying, nor could she answer me if she did. Before she passed away I had a dream that I was laying on my parent's bed in the house I grew up in and we were talking like we used to when I was little (she used to lay down after supper for a nap and I'd follow and lay down and talk to her sometimes.), but I was grown...and I told her everything I could think of in the dream. Sometimes I like to think that because of that dream she really knew...but I know that my subconscious was just trying to help me deal.

It still kills me that she will never see my wedding or her grandchildren that she always promised that she would wind up on sugar and send them home to me.
It's not fair that she did not get to enjoy the rest of her life, because god did she ever enjoy her life.
Everyone who knew her misses her deeply.
My mom was 57 years old, she deserved a longer life.



I love you mom.

 
.

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